When Bad Taste Meets Power Tools

What better way to close this tumultuous last year of the first 10 of the twenty-first century than by writing a “ leaning ” clause ? You ’ve probably register your share of them : Top 100 Tech Toys , or 50 Celebrity Arrests For do Foolish In Public , or 10 iPhone Apps To ameliorate Your Dental Hygiene .

Now it ’s my round . Since start this Cool Green Gardens blog in April I ’ve indite about water conservation , helpful design ideas for your garden , posted a video recording consultation about coyote pee and shared just plain beautiful images of enchanting gardens .

So why not do it again !

My intention is to provide positive deterrent example using bad examples – the stuff that either makes you express mirth out forte or contemplate gouging your own eyes out . There are so many out there to choose from . For now please accept Billy ’s Top Five Crimes Against Horticulture .

convention of the biz

There are two simple criterion for stopping my car , unpacking my photographic camera and snapping a few exposure :

1.On What Planet Is This Attractive?Indiscriminate shearing of plants into random shapes that bear no connection to nature . Bonus points for Dr. Seussiness .

2.Wrong Plant / Wrong PlaceJamming super - sized plants into spaces the size of a crack methamphetamine , thereby destroying their natural beauty and guarantee interminable war to keep them from devour each other .

Before I start slashing with my Samurai Sword of Smarminess , rent me clear up where I ’m coming from . After all , if my finish is to train via bad deterrent example , I need to explain what I consider to be a sound example .

Here ’s a garden I designed a few year ago .

seem like something you might see inFine Gardeningmagazine , eh ? comment how the plants are arranged to attain their mature size without run into their neighbors .

There are two benefits to this simple approach :

Let ’s get started …

Take These Plants and Shove Them

Can we start up by agree that this looks derisory ? Yet we see like plantings all the clock time . I wo n’t even ask why some benumbed - nut think it would be okay to put these five unlike plants into a three by three space in the first place .

Actually , I experience the answer : The plant was little when it went in . It did n’t occur to anyone that they would grow and get bigger . What about removing a few and letting the remainder grow unmolested ? Not probable . Why mess up their job security ?

The lesson : Send a few plants to the compost pile .

cognise When to Say When

Here ’s what happens when someone drum 20 trailing lantana ( Lantana montevidensis ) into a parkway where five would have done the job . decently spaced , each works matures at about four human foot wide and stay about a six inches high . Logic would tell us to plant them four pes apart .

Instead , spaced about 18 inches from each other , they grow , then clash , then pile on top of each other . Until someone adjudicate to thin out the planting , or just torch it and start up over , they ’ll be scalped about four times a year , leaving this adorable sight .

The moral ? Restraint and forbearance .

rotary Logic

eggbeater landing place pad ? Dining table from Land of the Giants ? I ’m really at a loss to explain the rationale for this too - frequently seen act of tree hackery . Unfortunately , I ’m not brave enough to knock on the threshold and take , “ Are you a menu carry ascendency freak or do you just hate your neighbors ? ”

Picture getting out the ladder , powering up the Extendo-3000 hedge trimmer joist , trampling the geraniums and cleaning up the slew .

Yes , I hear your defense – it would be a few buck to send this atrociousness to it ’s rightful grave accent and plant an fittingly sized tree . But cogitate about the long - term gains , both fiscal and aesthetic .

If It grow , I Shall Subdue It

The brightly inflorescence bougainvillea is one of Southern California ’s most misunderstood plants . People like to pretend it ’s a well - do vine , rather than the rampant , thorny bramble it really is . The irony is that it ’s frequently planted in small spaces , squeeze it to be continually shear , thereby removing the colorful flower just as they come along on the new steer ontogeny .

Benefit of the doubt – perhaps it ’s a originative Picassoesque cubist carving , or a Shaker - revolutionize chairperson . Or perhaps it ’s just the mindless app of top executive tools . Either way , it leaves me scratching my head .

A Bit of Light Reading

Once again , I ’m astounded at the drive people expend in the name of weirdness . I could see if you placed this over a couple of chaise lounges – then you could put a light bulb inside each orb and have a one of a variety , Snake - steer organic reading material lamp . Maybe I ’ll drive by after dark . ( BTW : surplus points for Dr. Seuss influences . )

Well , that does it for this yr ’s last installment of Cool Green Gardens . I ’m certain I ’ll have lots more examples of what not to do in 2010 . If you ’d wish to see the rest of my rascal ’s gallery or have a few example you ’d wish to kick in , inflict myFlickr exposure collectionand join the fun .

wish you a safe , sizable , lucky New Year and a garden that fills you with joy .

hunky-dory Gardening Recommended Products

A.M. Leonard Deluxe Soil Knife & Leather Sheath Combo

Fine Gardening receives a commission for item purchased through links on this internet site , include Amazon Associates and other affiliate advertizement programme .

Get our latest hint , how - to article , and instructional videos institutionalise to your inbox .

sign you up …

My Very First Garden Conservancy Open Days Tour!

When the Fig Leaf Falls, Sensuous Forms Appears

Computer-controlled Cauliflower? When Software Meets Spinach

Irrigation Gizmos and Gadgets - Part I

Join Fine Gardening for a free engage bouncy webinar boast Dr. Janna Beckerman , a renowned flora pathologist as well as prof emerita at Purdue University and the ornamentals technological manager …

When I spotted a particular George Sand dollar cactus ( Astrophytum asterias ) at the Philadelphia Flower Show a few months ago , I knew I was in trouble . With a delightful colour pattern …

When we only prioritise flora we want over plants our landscape needs , each time of year is satisfy with a never - ending list of task : pruning , filch , watering , treating , amending , and fertilizing , with …

Video

Touring an Eco-friendly, Shady Backyard Retreat

You must be heedful when you enter the backyard of garden designer Jeff Epping — not because you ’re likely to trip on something , but because you might be dive - bombard by a pair …